The other day i took my mom to Kroger and waited outside in the parking lot for her while she shopped because there was a massive typhoon taking place outside and she didn't want to jeopardize the integrity of her groceries by walking through the rain storm. As my weary eyes struggled to keep watch over the exit doors of the store (it was 7 am mind you), i suddenly noticed what seemed like a flash of lightning blaze past the side of my car. what i didn't realize during that split second was that the faint image was, in fact, an elderly man driving his hover round scooter filled with all sorts of newly purchased produce smack down the middle of the car-intended lanes. there were several things concerning this scenario that genuinely concerned me- two of which i think are especially worth mentioning: 1. it was not only raining cats and dogs but, i promise you, there were actual lightning strikes violently piercing the sky 2. I am fully convinced that that man sincerely equivalated the rights and capabilities of his little scooter with that of a 21st century automobile. as i sat watching this little creature of a man nonchalantly race his scooter down the middle of the parking lot, i became only mildly alarmed when i saw him actually stop at an adjacent street intersection, look both ways for traffic and confidently proceed out onto the right side of the moderately crowded road. I could not believe the man, but I was admiring his boldness. He literally thought he was invincible. i guess ignorance really is bliss.
Not long after this incident, my attention was immediately diverted to the profile of a stout young man, clearly an employee of Kroger, who was standing outside in the rain…watering some plants. I wanted to cry. I mean, this wasn’t any ordinary kind of a rainfall…it was the kind where you’re lucky to even see more than 3 feet in front of you. Not a minute after I had begun to process this whole situation, a 500+ lb Kroger customer waddles outside of the store, stops in her tracks, looks curiously at a large puddle in front of her and proceeds to bend down (somehow magically managing to maintain her balance) and retrieves a coin from the puddle. She looked so pleased with herself. I was happy for her. To be honest, though, I was more impressed with the woman than anything else. I almost wanted to get out of my car and give her a standing ovation. In case the idea has never dawned on you before, allow me to point out that not many people stop to pick up change off the ground…especially West Virginians…and especially those who are more than pleasantly plump (which automatically factors in the majority of the state’s population)…and espeeeeeecially in the middle of violent elemental storms. So, naturally, I took a few extra minutes to fully appreciate the miracle. Shortly thereafter, the rain had finally subsided and I noticed yet another interesting character. It was another Kroger customer- a clean-cut gentleman who looked like any ordinary businessman with his adorable iron-pressed khaki pants, collared shirt and tie. What uniquely caught my eye, however, was the fact that his grocery bags contained only these two items: Ramen noodles and Easy Mac. It was clear that he was preparing for another mundane week of microwavable meals. I started imagining the many possible lives in which this man may live. Perhaps he was a widower, a man without any children and with no familial relations nearby. His wife surely must have a been a proficient homemaker and a wonderful cook- a woman that ran a saintly traditional household, one in which the woman alone does the cooking and in which the husband’s role is strictly to financially support his family. His wife probably died from a severe degenerative disease that could not be medically disarmed. The poor widower has been on his own now for nearly three years and, though he has finally come to grips with the loss of his wife, he has had an incredibly difficult time domesticating himself. In fact, the only non-microwavable meal he is sufficiently equipped to prepare is meatloaf, a cherished recipe belonging to his deceased wife. Mr. Clayton (that’s what I named him) must have spent countless hours and gone through lord knows how many pounds of ground beef in desperate attempts to perfect his meatloaf-cooking skills. Alas, Mr. Clayton cannot live on meatloaf alone, which is why I had the opportunity to observe this pitiable creature clutching his microwavable merchandise close to his chest as he walked hastily through the Kroger parking lot. Bless his little fighting heart.
Oh glory i could go on and on about all my observations at Kroger that morning…buuut I’ll save you the boredom. If any of you are dedicated people-watchers I encourage you to continue in your ways. if you don’t learn anything from it or become more humbled in some way, I’m certain you will find a reason to laugh.
